I don't know since I get bored with my blogging-life. I've been fucking lame and so damn lazy to update and post something new on my blog cause I knew my blog is a bit dull. I said a bit am I? Okay I'm so annoying then. It's totally dull. It's black, mysterious and boring. But that's me. I love the way I think cause I think it's my life and my own style on my blog. I love seeing it to be black, dull and bleak. It's me cause I'm the mysterious, weird and madden. Lol I'm going crazy mumbling on my own life. Well I know people won't drop here even reading to my fucking annoying post (hahaha) because they got their own-life. And mine got nothing to do, I mean not even as tiny as a germ related to their so-busy life.
All my life, I've been hating on my own-self and even my life. Did I say I hate my life? Yeah really I hate my life to the max. But last 3 months, I've realize that I my self should be thankful for being fatin as what I am today. I am fucking love my life then. I should know the fact that my life was so amazing since I was born. Well amazing wonderful in my way that anyone could ever have. It happens once I woke up from my bed at 3 in the morning, I just found that I've grown this big and getting older. And the fact that I'm going to sit for my spm next year, yes I really getting older. I mean I'm turning seventeen next year. It's not really next year, it is just in six weeks-time. Hell yeah I'm growing older and I'll have my own-life like what I have now but there are a huge different then. I need to survive on my own, managing my life without my parents at my side.
Today is the final day of the first week of holiday for a student like me. I've used to this situation, I mean like staying at home, lying in my bed, reading boring novel, texting with anybody that I feel to, less eating, less sleeping, staring at my bloody lappy for hours, looking at my ceiling, thinking of the future. I'm actually doing nothing. I know it's dull and so boring to anyone. But not for me. It was so exciting to have my life way that I love to without thinking of anybody for more. Well, I'm sacrificing my life, my holiday, my brain-rest, my sleep, my food. For whom? For sure for the spm candidates this year, my freakish-annoying brother, and my four other cousins. I believe that one good turns deserve another in the future. So this is what I'm doing. I'm sacrificing everything for them and I know they'll do the same thing for me the next year that I'm sitting for spm just like them.
So as each of them is taking pure-science, their last paper was Biology that is on the 30th of November. It means that our so called holiday will start on the 1st of December. Yeah we got the exact one month of holiday. Like in plan, my big family will go for some sort of family-day, just like going to some places and have our holiday activities. Totally I'm not involved in planning it. I'll just follow whatever fuck-up plan and places they've planned for all of us. But if it goes boring, I'll just drop then, staying alone at home or just drop at my cousins' place.
I just awakened from a long long dream. I just realize that I should be thankful for the life that God had given for me. The breathe that is still mine. I need to thank to all the people for making my life awesome miserable which I really love it. I love to live my fucking boring life. First of all, my mommy. She makes me on this earth. She woke me up every single morning and told me that she's very lucky to have me as her daughter in this universe. Well I know the fact that I am the most annoying daughter for her actually cause I used to mumble over everything she condemned on me. I know I've been fucking rude for everyone that judges me but mommy, she was the patient-woman for a mommy that one ever have. The mumble that I used to make is what makes her loves me even more. She said it was so silent at home, it's dull and boring if I'm not around. Yeah mommy once cried the whole week when I go for my scouts-camp in Putrajaya. I didn't call her, even text her. I'm sorry mommy for turning you so clumsy worrying on me. Next, the second person I'd never wanna lose of course my dad. He buys me stuffs, foods, clothes and etc. He makes lame jokes, he calms me down whenever I'm upset, mad and emotional. He's the best father on the earth that one could ever asked for. Third is my two brothers. My eldest, he's the heart of me. He caught me in everything. He teaches me alot, helping me doing my stuff and etc. I just can't imagine how my life would be without him. Now I'm a little bit suffering my life for not having him at my back to support me in everything since last August. He flied to the USA to further studies under JPA's scholarship. Please don't tell him that I really miss him cause I'm scared that he can't focus on his studies if he knows I'm missing him this much. Second brother, he's so thin yet dull for a man. He's sitting for his spm now. I know nothing much about him because we're not a gang. He had his own life and I got mine. We live our own life in the same house. He has his own gang, my little sister, and my little brother. I bet everyone would have been wondering what gang am I talking about. Did I say gang? Yeah we got two different gangs in our heaven-house. First gang was me, my eldest and my youngest. And the other one in second-bro, fourth and fifth. Don't wanna talk much about them. Hahaha I bet everyone would have been wondering cause it's really weird but I love my life style. Last in the list, my superfluous friends. I'm not going to type their name here because there will be a very very very long list of them. In anyway, thanks for living in my life dear annoying friends. I say they're annoying but I lied anyway. Deep inside me, I love them fucking much. I'm just being too ego to admit that hahaha.
My life is fucking dull and boring but I love it ANYWAY.
DOODLES OF FATIN MAZLAN , XX :)
